Last night my best friend and I rode the subway uptown for dinner. It was only a short ride, but it seemed to take longer than any other subway ride I've endured. It was horrible, miserable, torture.
We got seats as soon as we boarded. She sat safely on the end, and I was seated next to a girl about 7 or 8, with messy hair and disheveled clothing. The girl was speaking in Spanish to her mother who was picking at her chipped manicure and taking up the rest of the bench on the other side of her daughter. The girl's sister was about 11, and sitting across from us working on homework. They occasionally screamed something at one another across the train. Pleasant.
It was a warm, breezy day in the city, and allergens were high. My BF had been sneezing quite a bit as had many people around the city.
Shortly after we sat down, Mom let out a huge sneeze. She paused and out of the corner of my eye I saw her pull the little girl up to her face and wipe her nose on the inside of her daughter's shirt!! I don't speak Spanish, but I can only guess that the Death screams that instantly ensued translated to “Mooooom, that is sick! Look at this streak of snot on my shirt! It's my favorite shirt” I imagine Mom's response, which was pretty much yelling, over the screams was “Well I didn't have any tissue so deal with it. It'll dry in like an hour, now shut up, your sister is doing her homework and I'm doing my nails!” They were both screaming at the top of her lungs and the girl was crying for the entire subway to hear. Plus she was lifting her shirt for all to see the streak of snot.
(I actually caught a glimpse of the snot streak, and barfed a little bit in my mouth. The image is burned in my memory. You should all thank me for not taking a pic.)
The girl was lunging from her sister, who was laughing hysterically, to her mom who was ignoring her. She then began punching and slapping Mom in combination with the continued Death screams, to no avail. Sister yelled a bit, and the girl then lunged back over and tried to steal the homework pencil... this caused lower pitched Death screams and crying from the sister, of course.
Fortunately, we were at our stop. I was about to have to steal the homework pencil myself – and ram it into my eyes and ears, putting an end to that misery!!
